I don’t remember our first conversation

But I do remember our last

My sister and I came over after school

(Your family had always liked me)

((Or at least they acted like they did))

And your mom had made me ice cream cone cupcakes

We stood in your kitchen and ate them

And talked about something

If I’m honest, I don’t know what

But I know how it made me feel

I felt hollow

I felt numb

I felt… awful

And I finally came to terms with the fact

That our time in each other’s lives

Was over

I remember the text I sent you when I got home

I apologized for being so quiet

I apologized for how quickly I’d left

I said I didn’t know what was wrong with me

But you told me it was fine

You didn’t mean that

Not really

Because you’d already mourned this friendship

I’ve always been just behind you in these kinds of things 

That was the day I let the zombie rest

The older I get the more I lose

The more my memories slip

The fewer conversations I can recall

And the more I associate you

With the lifeless, malignant zombie

That we pretended was our friendship

Maybe I tried too hard to keep it alive

And for that, I want to say sorry

What I do know is that no matter how much time passes 

I can’t get your phone number out of my head